Amen
by lexii.ft.sandyy
Summary: A long one-shot, the apssing of a loved one is hard, knowing your to blame is harder. A passing of a loved one has errupted, the Cullens visit the grave, and each open their heart and soul into a speech. Set nine years after Edward leaves. R&R..


Nine years later after Edward left, he gets a message in the mail, when he reads it, only one thing washes over him; grief.

"No. It can't be real." He said, falling to the ground. Then he started screaming at the top if his lungs drowning all the screams from his family out.

"Edward?! What's happening?" Carlisle screamed at his first son, Edward dry-sobbed and got into the fetal position, rocking back and forth, back and forth. He pointed to the letter that was placed in the middle of the room; actually rather thrown in the middle of the room.

Carlisle ran over to the letter, and a look of ancient sadness washed over him, he looked at his questioning family, running over to Edward, and bowing over him,

"It will be alright, son." Carlisle hushed his son, the family looked at all of what was happening; Alice couldn't see anything. Rosalie was surprised, as was Emmett, Jasper tried so hard to send waves of calmness, but the grief pushed it away.

Esme; knowing her family well; knowing her husband like that back of her hand, she knew what happened to cause such emotions, such strong emotions, she knew like a mother would know.

"What is happening?" Emmett screamed, as Esme walked over to cradle her son in her arms, Jasper finally gave up and walked over to the letter, reading it out loud:

"…Dear family, this letter was one that would connect you with your past. I hate to make you blame yourselves for the traumatic news.

On December, last month, Bella came up to me and told me that she was going for a walk in the forest, she told me that she was going to think. I told her goodbye and wished her to be safe, at 7:OO, I was thinking she was a little too late. I called her on her phone, and heard it ring upstairs, I was getting worried, so I walked in the forest, I knew exactly were she'd be, she used to play round there when she was younger.

I walked into the fringe of the forest, and what I say shocked me to the core. There, in front of me, Bella was laying pale, white, with a letter in one hand, and a bottle of pills in the other, I ran over screaming, I tried to resuscitate her, and with no luck I called for back-up and took the letter from her hand.

I'm in therapy now, Renee is suffering from depression, Phil is trying to save her, but I think it's useless, she told me that she really loved you guys, I read the note over and over, trying to find out what happened, but I yet to achieve anything, it seems to be a poem, I cant understand it. Those attachments are extras to this informant.

Yours truly,

-Charlie."

By the end of Jaspers longest and most painful monologues, the whole family was blubbering, even Rosalie, Jasper noted. Life was much harder now. Alice didn't move, she just sat on the floor, staring out the window, silently she was killing herself inside.

"Why?!" Edward bellowed; he had lost the only thing that meant anything to him, Jasper was on the floor, huddling on the circle of Cullen's. Rosalie was balancing on the sobbing Emmett, but Alice still stayed quite, she had lost her best friend, and she didn't see _anything_.

"What about the attachments?" Alice said, her eyes focusing on the leaves of paper attached to the note from Charlie, she ran over to the letter and then took one look at the pages before her, reading them out, she was detached, gone.

"It's a letter to her funeral. Next Wednesday, we're going." No one offered an alternative, they would sit in the forest, or they would host the damned thing, either way, they were going to say goodbye.

"It's held where she died, in the forest." She stated simply, she went the last leaflet of paper, reading once over she gasped, and then nodded, Jasper felt the wave of emotion Alice seemed to radiate. He looked t her, yearning to comfort her, but fearing she will not return the favor, Alice read out the last sheet of information.

"Its her letter," she stated simply, "It is a poem." She looekd at the paper and read it out in a dead, non-noticeable voice, she still was distant, she was not there.

"_Blood soaked envy, a monstrous emotion, hated by many._

_Thickening every emotion I posses, lacing all my words._

_Fear-struck on-lookers, as I show them how much I hate it._

_Leaving the actors on the stage, the actresses clap in the wings._

_The large woman breathes. And the lady sings. _

_The curtain is called, and red drapes my life, creating a cloud:_

_One of blood soaked envy._

_It's not over till the fat lady sings, I decided that I was alone, _

_So I will follow you into the dark, and we'll all leave, no one the wiser._

_No one cared, no one prepared for the curtain draw._

_It was not needed, but neither were the actors and actresses, _

_All that was needed was a red cloud of blood soaked envy._

Please remember nothing that has happened recently,

Mother, Father, I love you so much, never think this is any of your fault.

And you, who is reading this letter, it was none of yours either.

-Bella."

Alice dropped the letter, as I floated back to the ground.

"Blood soaked envy?" Rosalie asked.

"She was envious of us, that we could else everything behind, and still carry on, it was blood soaked because it was us, which made it blood soaked envy. She wanted to be alike." Carlisle explained.

"EDWARD!" Alice screamed, everyone curiously looked at her, standing there, nostrils flared, staring at Edward, "You screwed up, big time!" she fell to the floor, and sobbed into a big heap of vampire, the song played on the radio amplified itself.

"_Copeland– brightest." _Echoed through the room, the vampires came together, all huddled together, crying about the only human that ever mattered.

Esme lost another child.

Edward lost his heart, his everything.

Emmett lost hope; he lost his will.

Jasper lost his favorite human, his favorite sister.

Rosalie lost meaning.

Carlisle lost his daughter; he lost his happiness.

Alice lost everything, she lost life, meaning, hope, sanity; she lost the will to exist. She lost everything; she lost her best friend.

As the morning was declared, Edward laid listening music, each song told a story, an emotion that he remembered. Esme sit at her desk, tracing the patters in the mahogany wood. Carlisle sat in his study, looking through doctor's journals; he came past depression and thought that that wasn't enough to describe.

Emmett sat watching the T.V, trying so hard to forget, but failing consistently, Jasper sat next to him, trying to cope, but he, too failed. Rosalie sat on her bed, brushing her blonde locks, not thinking intently; not thinking about anything. Alice sat in the same place, looking out the window, staring past the mountains, past the sky, past the moon, she stared into the future, nothing held her, she thought endlessly of Bella.

"Alice, you need to get up honey." She saw the future, she saw Jasper attempting to move her, and she saw her refusing. She didn't move to do anything, she blocked out everything, she tried to find happiness, and lost her train of thought, relentless of how much she tried.

--

The day of the funeral, they were moved back into their old house in Forks, everyone silently dressed in black, silently everyone prepared. Alice was going to speak at the funeral, so was Edward, Jasper, Alice and Carlisle composed a sweet and caring speech, as did Emmett and Rosalie. Esme just smiled and silently hoped for help.

"She was loved by many. And she will be missed by more, finding your own daughter like that is hard, going through it day after day, dream after dream, living it over constantly is harder, but saying goodbye is the hardest. And so baby, sleep tight till I join you, Bella honey, I miss you already." Charlie smiled as tears flooded his face, he was unable to move, Bella's friend Jacob helped him down, and Jacob, too, sat there crying with Charlie.

"She was my best friend," Alice said, stepping up to the podium, "She still is, I relentlessly told her of how much I loved her, how much I cared for her, and yet she is still the same stubborn Bella that I had fallen in love with. She didn't want anything to end sadly, she was always so happy, and so I bid her farewell, and goodbye, and I too, will meet you again someday, goodnight princess." She threw a single red rose onto the sleek coffin that held Bella.

"I treated Bella several times, I broken wrist there, a fracture here," Carlisle forced a laugh, and continued, "It seemed she fell for danger, and then she was always brought to me. I made sure that I always treated her, and no one else, because I knew I would treat her with the doctor that I am, and the fatherly way that if felt for her, she would always be my daughter. The relasionship between my son and her, confirmed such, and I too, will miss you dearly Isabella." He threw a single white rose onto the coffin, walking down to comfort Esme as she sat there, looking at the coffin.

"I always loved watching Bella and her antics, when she fell, and when she blushed, it really makes me sad to think that I will never get to see her blush scarlet again. She really knew who I was, and still she loved me, its hard for a brother, to loose a sister, a friend to loose a friend, but its harder to say goodbye. But I imagine that I'm not saying goodbye, and instead I say this: Until we meet again Isabella, until we share the hugs we are yet to have." After throwing a forget me not flower, Emmett sat down my Esme, as he felt a hand touch his shoulder, the warmth that radiated belonged to Charlie, he smiled at Emmett, tears streamed down his cheeks, Emmett smiled and went back to comforting Esme.

_Come on Rosalie. _Rosalie was beating herself up inside, she was putting herself down, something she rarely actually does she stepped forward, and started to speak. "Bella and I were not as close as some people, we had our ups and we had our downs, I felt that I never got that chance to actually connect with her, and I am deeply ashamed that I didn't let that happen." Rosalie looked down, and built up the confidence to continue. "None the less, I loved her like a sister, and I will miss her like a sister too." She threw down a yellow and pink rose, she sat next to Emmett, placing her head lightly on his shoulder, and Jasper rose and stood to the audience.

"Bella was like a tulip, she was colorful with her emotions, she brightened up the darkest of places with her glow, but most of all she is beautiful, she had a beautiful personality that anyone would catch on, like the cold. She made me laugh the way she was constantly handicapped, falling over nothing, blushing over everything. Bella we'll all miss you, forever and forever." He threw a colorful tulip onto the coffin, it mde the bouquet look colorful, made it bright, he smiled and walked to sit next to Alice.

Next was the hardest, Edward remained in his seat, refusing to let go of his happiness, Alice spoke to him in hushed noises, he bowed his head and let her voice calm him, with Jaspers help.

"She's in a better place, trust me. You need to say the speech, it helps say goodbye, it helped you keep your sanity." And with that Alice pushed Edward forwards, he stumbled up onto the stage and looked out to the crowd. He looked at his carefully made speech and thought for awhile before putting them back in his pocket.

"Bella was everything to me, she as my sun, my personal tulip, my personal white rose, my pink and yellow rose, my white rose, and she was my forget me not, she was my bouquet of everything. She means the whole world to me, and to look down on the coffin and she that she is gone, and that I couldn't do anything, we couldn't do anything, it hurts to say goodbye to your life, while you stand here; lifeless. If she was still alive, and she even contemplated such a cruel act like this, I would have held her and told her that there was no need for that silliness, and that if she ever did go, that we would all miss her, and here I have a poem,

My light, my reason, my future and my past.

I wish we could go back and make it last,

I would be your hero, I would rescue you,

And you my angel, with broken wings would safe me too.

There was a reason to life, a meaning to everything.

But there seems to be nothing left,

But all I know that even with broken wings,

It's not over till the fat lady sings.

And with my last note to you,

Isabella, truly, I love you."

And with that Edward threw a single freesia on the coffin, kissing his love goodbye. Kissing his life goodbye, he bowed his head and walked to go sit back down. The minister walked on the stage, and spoke a prayer.

"Our Father, which art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy Name

Thy kingdom comes

Thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them who trespass against us

And lead us, not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen" the man in white and black bowed his head, as they all said in unison,

"Amen." They all said, they all lowered the sleek coffin, six feet deep, everyone threw a handful of dirt onto the coffin, everyone said goodbye through tears, the Vampires did not cry, but they were the saddest there.


End file.
